Lose the Label
A Student Activist Community

posted by jakethorn on May 31, 2008 - 10:02pm

I've decided to start keeping a semi-daily journal here. First because it helps me to write about what's going on... I find I understand things better, keep a better perspective, etc. And second because so many friends are asking for updates, a journal just seemed like a good idea.

So today I mostly spent in the hospital room. I walked around the floor over to the elevator, where there's a nice view, but other than that I stayed in. It was an official 'chemo day,' i.e., this was the day they pumped me full of the chemicals. It's not that hard; I have this thing called a permanent picc line in my arm, so they don't jab me with a needle every time like in the beginning, they just connect the tubing to the pick line and go.

They gave me nausea medications beforehand as a preventive measure. Then they did the actual injections. The first chemical was in a little syringe and only took a minute or so. The second one was a red liquid in a huge syringe that took a few minutes to finish going all the way in. One of the side effects of that one is you can pee red. Sure enough, an hour or so later, I did. No biggie. Doesn't hurt, it's just weird. Like lots of things about my life right now... don't hurt, just weird. The third chemical was in a big bag and took longer, about 2 hours, before it was done. Drip, drip, drip. After that, I was done for the day. They took me off the IV line and I was free to walk around the room without dragging the pole everywhere. I find I can really relate to elderly folks who have to do stuff like that, what with oxygen tanks and other external devices... how it restricts your mobility, makes you feel trapped.

Toward the end of the therapy, my friend Bart and his brother came by for a visit. He's running a marathon tomorrow. Very chill guy, and a hell of a musician. Some of my funnest times my last couple years in Santa Barbara were jamming with him, Jared and Terrence in their practice space. Think funky blues rock at an aggressive pace. We played my 22nd birthday party in IV last year, it was a blast. A far cry from my 23rd birthday, which I spent in here.

In other news, my hair started falling out yesterday. It was bound to happen eventually. My doctor asked me two days ago if I'd felt it itching and I said yes and he nodded his head and said, "like clockwork." Apparently 14 days after your first round is when you start losing it. It doesn't fall out on its own, but if I pull gently at it, a few come out at a time. I assume it'll get more pronounced as the week goes on and I'll have to break down and shave it. I don't have an electric razor, so I'll have to get my family to bring me one. I'll miss my hair but it's no biggie. Kind of have bigger things to worry about, and on the plus side, if I walk around in public like that, aint nobody gonna fuck around with the freaking cancer patient. Or I should hope..

Anyway, now I'm just kind of sitting here, a little dazed and tired from the nausea meds. I'll try to go to bed soon but it's never easy for me to sleep, partly because my ulcerative colitis is always making me go to the bathroom (it's still pretty bad, even with all the crazy drugs they have me on). I took a sleeping pill last night that seemed to help. I should probably do it again tonight because it'd be good to be well-rested tomorrow, when the effects from today's injections start hitting high gear. That's the thing about chemo... it's not that big a deal when it goes in, it's the days afterward that bring the most side effects. But hey, I've been lucky so far that nothing too terrible has happened. The doctor says the 2nd round is usually easier, so here's hoping.

That does it for my first entry. I'll try to update as regularly as I can, ideally daily, but there are gonna be days I'm not up to it so let's just play it by ear. I already feel better having written this one, though, so I think this'll be a healthy activity for me to do.

salud