Streaks of White
6/6/08
Every morning look outside the window
Watch the ants a marchin down the freeway
Almost wishing I was them 'cause I don’t have the choice
But only 'cause I don’t have the choiceWhen everything you know gets ripped away
In the time it takes to read the doctor's face
Wondering if I will live but trying not to cry
Trying not to cryHear strangers screaming out into the night
Wonder what dark things they must be facing
Every night it's something else, the pain is in the walls
The pain is in the wallsBut then I started seeing miracles
In all the things I used to take for granted
Saw vibrance where I once saw grey, and light in everything
Light in everythingSaw friends I hadn't seen in years and years
Reaching out so scared with blind compassion
Feeling how they wish me well, I want it even harder
I want it even harderAnd I will live today the best I can
So each tomorrow greets me like a bonus
Day by day I will survive 'cause I'm not done with life
Oh, I'm not done with life
update 6.29/// I've strung
update 6.29///
I've strung together a couple good days, albeit not perfect ones. I'm back to eating (w00t), and I have plenty of appetite, but the doctors want me to take it easy because I've been losing a lot of blood intestinally. Today they transfused 2 units of whole blood and a unit of platelets to make up for it. So the ulcerative colitis is definitely living up to its billing as a serious complicating factor. There's not much to be done besides just endure. My white blood cells have also been dropping, so I'm very vulnerable to infection. They said that would happen.
On the bright side, I sang in here for the first time today. It was really cool, one of the nurses came in and asked if I would open the door because one of the patients across the way said they wanted to hear. I also walked about 10 laps around the hall; I'm not allowed to go outside on account of my low white blood cells, so all the exercise I can get is going around in circles. But whatever, this is good enough for now.
^^^^^^^^^^
"Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly."
-Robert F. Kennedy
It's so great to hear that
It's so great to hear that the ups are starting to kick back in action :) It's so wonderful that you're singing... I am so happy that you are able to share your music with everyone. That is truly beautiful. Thanks for the continual updates. Please know that I am still thinking encouraging, positive thoughts for you. You've got what it takes to get through this.
much love, keely
That is a good poem. Came
That is a good poem.
Came over from DD to see how you were doing.
I'm sending good thoughts of healing your way.
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